There's a reason that adorable kitten videos are the most watched things on Youtube. Why? Because most people out there like kittens. We think they're cute, especially if they're batting around something shiny or chasing their own tails. We especially like them if they're lying on their backs and freeze every time someone points at them, it seems.
So surely you must have realised there was going to be quite the uproar when people found out you took a bunch of kittens and pierced their ears, necks and tails with a 14 gauge needle, and then hung heavy barbell jewellery from them. Did it even occur to you that some of us might find your vision of a "gothic kitten" a bit disgusting?
How the hell were you even able to do it? I can barely stand to make Gypsy hold still long enough to brush snarls out of her fur because it always seems to hurt her so much! Usually I just hack them out as best I can with a pair of scissors and get a groomer to do a proper job every few months. How could you stand to hurt them like that?
Was it because you wanted a pet that reflected your sense of individuality and unique style? Cause if it is then I've got to say I think you're overestimating just how much of a unique little snowflake you really are. But if that was your motivation, why couldn't you have just dressed them in weird costumes and posted pictures of them on Instagram like the rest of us?
I don't claim to be a perfect pet owner. God knows I let Gypsy eat things she shouldn't and I probably should do something about her borderline psychotic obsession with my knitting wool, but I'd never be able to do anything to hurt her. I just can't understand how you could.
So on behalf of both myself and Gypsy the Feline Dictator, I'd like to wish you a very long, boring and humiliating six months of house arrest.